Sometimes things happen that we just don't understand

Sometimes when misfortune strikes or life does not go as planned we fail to understand why certain things happen to us the way they do.

In our effort to overcome tragedy and pain, we frantically search for answers, try to rationalise stuff out or attempt to spiritualise mishaps with gauzy language or pretty mantras. But the sense of it all continues to escape us.

So we turn to God: "why me?" we ask.

"How is this even fair? What did I do wrong to deserve this? Why did this happen with no apparent reason?"

Perhaps some part of us believes that if we were to find the reason of it all, the ache in our heart would ease and we would somehow be able to cope with things better.

So we turn inward again and ask ourselves this: "Did I actually choose this? Did I call it forth in any way?"

Torn with these big questions, we may even begin to blame or punish ourselves for what happened, subconsciously believing that finding a scapegoat might alleviate the ache.

The problem is that our minds demand answers we cannot always provide because things are much more nuanced than we make them be.

And yet some things just happen because they happen; not because of karma or bad luck; not because we did something wrong or attracted them to reap some fateful lesson. Some things just occur randomly and will never make one bit of sense to us.

We never deserve to suffer yet the mystery of life is such that some big questions we will never be able to answer. No one will.

But that doesn't mean things need to stay unresolved. Healing can happen even if we never understand why certain things happened the way they did.

Perhaps it is time to let go of the myth that everything happens for some predetermined reason.

So let me leave you with a whole new set of questions to ponder on. Perhaps you can try answering these instead. Who knows, maybe you might actually be able to find meaning here:

What can I still be grateful for?

How can I make lemonade out of lemons?

How can I integrate this into a greater purpose?

What wisdom can be found in this?

What doors did this open up for me?

How can I be of service to other fellow beings that are going through similar situations?

What new part of me can I learn to embrace and accept?

How did this shape me into the person I am today?

How can I create something of value through what has happened to me?

How can I offer hope amid despair and pain?